But, back to the thanksgiving theme: As I walked to work today, I was suddenly overwhelmed by gratitude. I'm amazed by the many factors that had to come together to make it possible for me to be here, to build relationships, to teach, to influence, to be taught, to be influenced, to learn in so many ways that I'm not in control even as I reap unanticipated blessings.
What if I'd succeeded in resetting the circuit breaker on my own? I probably would not have found out what caused the short in the first place.
In looking back over my many visits to Russia since 1975, giving up certainty and giving up control have been constant themes. For every loss of familiar procedures, familiar guarantees, there's been a gain: techniques and procedures are replaced by relationships and kindness. Both the exchange and the lesson have been invaluable. I'm sure that, before Thanksgiving rolls around, I'll have a fresh crop of examples.
I'm grateful for my students, who often deepen the class discussions in unexpected ways. In one class, we were reading Stephen Keeler's reminiscences about his late wife and their "not conventionally romantic" marriage, from the BBC English-learning Web site. When we got to the part about their wedding--"There was not even a 'big day' when we got married"--I asked the students whether, when and if they imagine getting married, what their "big day" would consist of. At first they confined themselves to daydreams about ceremonies, parties, and honeymoons, but then several of the students began going deeper. In one group, two of the students said that they didn't expect to get married, because they didn't believe the spouse of their dreams actually existed on this earth. Two others said that they were believers but didn't want to get married in church because that would be too serious a step--if they ever got divorced it would be like breaking a promise to God. (One said that she was not a believer; thus getting married in a church would be hypocrisy. And a couple of students said that they would get married at the registry office, and have a big party, and then have a marriage ceremony in the church much later--five or ten years later, when they were sure the marriage would "take."
In response to a student question, I described Judy's and my traditional Quaker wedding, with some brief comments about the theology and spirituality behind it. By far the majority of my students are young women, and in one class we talked about the nearly-universal expectation among them that they would have careers until they got married, and then their family would become their career. One student asked me about the age of marriage of American women, given this "reality." To engage in linguistically useful, humane, non-judgmental, and empowering dialogue in the context of such receptiveness is an awesome privilege.
In yet another class, a student asked me whether it was true that a man could get into legal trouble simply for holding a door open for a woman. Last year I did a lecture here on Harvey Mansfield's book Manliness and Maureen Dowd's Are Men Necessary?; it turned out to be a far more popular lecture than the ones I've put together so diligently on "the history of the welfare state" and "the future of the American family" and other serious subjects, and I was asked to repeat it twice. I may have to try and dig up that lecture again.
An article I distributed by Lynn Visson on American women who marry Russian men provided another important area for discussion: whether or not we should always tell the truth. There are times when the American cultural ideal says to tell the truth, whereas Russian experience advises knowing when to keep your big mouth shut. (Of course, as one student wisely pointed out, the real difference is not Russian/American but is far more dependent on the individual.) I talked about the experiences of Friends who confronted this issue when they helped "fugitive" ex-slaves to reach safety.
If you are one of those who's helped me get into this amazing zone of vulnerability and blessing, I don't have adequate words to thank you.
Righteous links: An inquiry from a George Fox University student concerning Russian children's literature led me to this fascinating article on the Russia Profile site, "Horton Hears Privyet: Dr. Seuss to appear in Russian translations." The site may ask you to register; it's worth it. ~~~ I have just seen a Russian remake of the film Twelve Angry Men by the director of the Oscar-winning Burnt by the Sun, Nikita Mikhalkov. This new film is simply called 12. Please see it if you can. Reviews: Washington Post; International Herald Tribune. Photos. Trailer. If anyone wants to know why Russia intrigues me so deeply, this film will be part of my reply. ~~~ This edition of Russian Religion News has an intriguing article about Russian Baptists: "Baptists seek identity." Here's the line that caught my eye: "We have always needed to be against somebody."
Via an iTunes download, Meryl Streep and Jon Stewart helped me present raw conversational English to my students. I used the full .m4v download from iTunes, but here's a flash version from the comedycentral site:
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
Meryl Streep | ||||
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Dessert! Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks:
3 comments:
I'm expecting Halloween pictures on next week's post, Johan!
Horribly fun!
I'm frightfully eager to please.
omggggggg! why would anyone want to avoid the BEST holiday of the year??? halloween ROX!
i think it's kinda funny how going somewhere different or putting yourself into a different "space" can bring into focus that we are powerless. i mean, mostly, we always are it's just that we don't see that so clearly when we're chugging along in our comfortable little lives.
$4 for an electrician?? do you think he could do plumbing, too? i need a plumber; i'd be willing to pay twice that.
i miss you, johan. are you coming home soon?
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